On Chaos, Rules, and Sacred Trees

I went to visit a friend of mine recently, who lives in a different city.

He brought me to a park, where there was an old, sacred tree in the center of the park... offerings placed within its scarred cracks. Old, but alive, and filled with energy from all those who knew of its presence and drew inspiration from it.

When we approached the place where the tree stood, there was an empty patch of bare dirt. Planted next to it was a tiny sapling.

The tree was cut down by the park, presumably because they feared-- because of its age-- that someone would try to climb it, crack a limb, get hurt, and then sue the park for damages...

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If you are curious about the ending of my performance, and why it is different than the original "Survival Pages" presented in November, here's the story:

There's a tech director for the Fringe, whose job it is to oversee the technical aspects of people's performances, and work with artists to set guidelines to ensure that performances work within different venue's capacities... presumably, to ensure that artists do not attempt things onstage that would damage the space, the venue's equipment, the performers, or the audience.

A month ago, I spoke with him about the different aspects of my show-- I'm going to have a big pile of dirt (make sure you lay something down on the floor for easy clean up... check) -- I'm going to suspend a wall of newspaper (bring along a self-supporting frame, because you can't hang anything from the ceiling... check) -- and last, I'm planning to bring a second projector, with my own operator who can set up and break down in the 10 minutes I am allowed before and after shows, for the final scene.

(To explain, the final scene ends with the projected image of a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, which becomes part of my body as I walk toward the audience... as in the image above)

To this request, to have a second projector, the answer was a firm and decisive "No" by the Fringe tech director. His justification for the rule, is that he is convinced that it will not work (based on his experience) and that he cannot allow me to "ruin" my show by allowing me to try it. (His letter is below)

Hi Malia,

I can't wink and unofficially let you do this one. I'd agree with you that there's no harm in trying if neither of us had any idea whether it would work, but that's not the case here. This year is my 10th Fringe Festival, which means I've seen what works, and what doesn't, in over 1300 different Fringe shows. I'm 99% sure that setting up a second video projector is not possible to do well during the Fringe, and 100% sure that it's not advisable. With that experience and knowledge, the ethical choice for me, unfortunately, is to disappoint you now, when you have the time to come up with a different plan, rather than in your all-too-short tech rehearsal.

You argue very persuasively that this effect is important to your theme, and understandable to the audience, and is very dramatic. What you haven't convinced me of is that there is no comprehensible, dramatic, and effective way to convey your message without using 2 video projectors. You created this piece under very unusual circumstances, with a lot of funding, tech support, and time. That situation rarely, if ever, comes up outside of universities and fellowships. Professional theater at every level involves compromise. There's never enough time or money to do everything you want, and being able to come up with multiple ideas to work around your constraints is an important part of the process. If you spend the next month working to build a creative and beautiful ending for your show that doesn't jeopardize the whole thing by relying on too much technology in not enough time, you will come up with something that not only works, but may even be better than the first version. Even in the worst case scenario the audience, having never seen the extra video projector, will not know they've missed anything.

I know this isn't the answer you wanted, and I'm sorry, but it is the one that will give you the best chance of a great experience in the Fringe.


-j

So why do I find this so outrageous?

Basically, his reasoning is based on the premise that he knows better than I what is possible during a Fringe Show, and that it's his job to "take care of me" --

Never mind that I have experience of my own (having done this show last November with similar time restraints for the set-up of a second projector), and have proven to myself and to my crew that we can set up a projector in plenty of time to meet the 10-minute deadline for setup and break down. (in rehearsal it took her 5 to 6 minutes, a deadline we practiced several times, with success every time)

If the second projector would have failed, it would have hurt no one, would have no effect on Intermedia Arts' space or equipment. The sole risk faced would be mine, alone, as the creator of a piece that I spent nine months developing, and finding just the right ending for.

To me, the main issue is that this one person has the right, because a projector falls under the realm of something technical, to exercise veto power over this very central and key element of my production... for no reason other than that he wishes to "protect me from my own inexperience" -- believing that this would make my show better. (Never mind that Fringe shows have a reputation of being all over the map, in terms of artistic quality-- being decided by lottery, it is the very spirit of the Fringe that you can present a show, whether it's absolutely terrible, or highly inspirational.)

What gives him the right?

In his letter, he speaks about compromise.

I have no problem compromising with rules that make sense to me.

However, this is my piece, I am the one who knows what is best for my show, and if I were about to "mess up" my show by trying to have this ending the way I intended, why should it matter to him?

To me, I feel like he has cut down my sacred tree, and told me, "Here's a sapling. It's a tree, isn't it? Surely it should be able to replace whatever else you intended to do."

I am filled with anger, grief, and indignation -- not just for my situation, but for all the sacred beauty that is cut down around us everyday, for reasons that just don't hold up, when you consider what is lost in the process. This scenario, to me, is a tiny piece of a drama that's played out every day-- the destruction caused through the actions of those whose cultural world-view requires control, clear hierarchy, order, and obedience... and who view any uprise or challenge to their authority as unreasonable and deserving of being utterly squashed.

He wishes for a scenario that is clean-cut, with no potential for chaos, for accident, for the messes that can happen when plants are allowed to grow the way they are meant to grow, or when artists are allowed to make their own mistakes.

I know I could have done it--
to make this ending fit within the guidelines of "10 minutes in, 10 minutes out"... required by the Fringe to ensure fairness to all performers. I also know, that in a worst-case-scenario, (the projector bulb burned out, the butterfly-image glitched, or things otherwise didn't happen according to plan) -- that I, personally, as the artist and creator of this piece, would have been okay with that.

Yes, I am stubborn.

But the plain fact of it is, is that there is no other ending with the power and meaning of my final scene, as originally done. Believe me, I racked my brain for other solutions, I asked friends, I tried out multiple scenarios, but, in reality, the entire performance rested on the culmination of this final image-- the energy I cast toward the audience with my movements, with the visual power of metaphor-- the simplicity of seeing the butterfly, cast on my chest, embracing its beauty and holding it sacred.

To me, this moment was more than a theatrical end... it was a prayer.

Unfortunately, the debate over having this second projector or not became a battle of egos... He is utterly convinced that I have an obstinate disregard for rules of any sort. I am convinced that he has overstepped his rightful bounds as a tech director.

In the end, I had 2 choices: To drop out of the Fringe, and not do the show at all (at considerable expense, having paid over $700 to make it this far).... or to stay, and let him have his way, and do my best to imbue this new ending with as much integrity as I can...

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You...

Photo by Usry Alleyne
Welcome to the blog-site for The Survival Pages !
You'll find all the entries here for the conceptualization and development of this performance, originally created in 2007 for the Naked Stages Program.

The Fringe Festival.

Ah, I question a bit, why I felt so compelled to get this show into the Fringe. The Minnesota Fringe is a scene unto itself-- with over 400 shows across the Twin Cities area over the course of 2 weeks, all vying to get audiences to choose their show over someone else's...

Still, I received so much positive feedback about this performance from audience members who came to the November 2007 debut of this solo show... it seemed a shame to let the nine months of labor boil down to a single weekend, with no returns. So, I've thrown myself into this chaotic Fringe-soup to see what will become of it.

How you can help! (Yes, I need help! -- I've figured out that I need at least 150-200 people to come see this show, just to earn back what I've put into it cost-wise!)

• Come! And bring friends!
• Spread the word (especially if you've seen this show or other work of mine & believe in it enough to vouch for it!)
• Write an audience review on the Fringe website (www.fringefestival.org)... there's this "star-rating" system, which most Fringe-goers rely upon to see whether a show is worth going to, in other audience members' opinions.

This performance is a direct and poetic response to all the ecological doomsday countdown we have entered into. It is not so much an effort to inform as it is to feel my own way through the blaring sirens of environmental emergency. It's not your typical Fringe show (if there is such a thing as a "typical Fringe show"...) in that there's not slick sarcasm, non-stop laughs, or charged sexual content... (all the things I've been told "sell" well in a Fringe context). Basically, this show is an attempt to create the kind of show that I wish to see, when I go out for an evening of performance-- a piece that is honest, from the heart, with elements I can recognize from my own life, and that is visually/thematically ripe and juicy.

Beyond getting "Star" ratings, I'm burning with curiosity to know your response & connection to the piece-- so please do consider adding your 2 cents to the Fringe-website's audience review, once the show is up and running!

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I've created a short 5-minute preview of the show (check out the link on this page, titled "Survival Pages Preview"). If you're curious about other aspects of my work, I'm about to get my own web-page at www.artsbymalia.com (It should be done by the time the show opens...)

Thanks for visiting this blog, and do browse the other postings on this blog to read more about my thoughts and process in the creation of this piece.





PS. Al Gore recently gave an inspirational speech on restructuring US energy policy, now on YouTube-- I highly recommend checking it out! (click on the link, on the right of this page)

To the Southwest and Back Again...

This is a photo from a short Butoh Dance on the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado.

(If you want to wreak a video camera, bringing it to a place like this is a good way to do it!)

In April, I went on a 3-week road trip with a friend to the Southwest.

If you have never been there before, go... I can't believe it has taken me so long to witness, in person, the gorgeous wildness that exists there.

Some prominent discoveries:
Earthships, a self-reliant, earth-based structure made of old tires, glass bottles, and aluminum cans-- in Taos, New Mexico. I want to live in one someday!

The Hopi Prophecy. As told by Grandfather Martin, the prophecy-keeper. Information which will rattle you to your core. They speak of the coming environmental disasters as "The Great Purification." Even more eye-opening to discover that the prophecies had foretold the coming of the Spanish conquistadors, both World Wars, and the landing of the "Eagle on the Moon"--

Wise Fool New Mexico. A (mostly) female troupe of stilters, aerialists, puppeteers and community artists. Hooray for new connections! They just came to Minneapolis, to perform their piece, "Flexion", which is touring the US. (info not necessarily as pertinent to the The Survival Pages as it is to my other artistic side with Chicks on Sticks and festival arts!)

White Sands National Monument. Where else can you see people sledding in New Mexico, over fields which bombers practice raids by night? Where else can you see a sunset perfectly reflected over miles of powdered crystals? A magic, magic place.

Hot Springs! Need I say more?

Other than a sharing a bit about this trip, I mainly wanted to post the fact that I now have dates for the Minnesota Fringe Festival performances of The Survival Pages at Intermedia Arts, 2822 Lyndale Ave S.... so mark your calendars now! They are:

July 31, 8:30pm
Saturday, Aug 2, 4pm
Sunday, Aug 3, 1pm
Tues, Aug 5, 8:30pm
and Friday, Aug 8, 7pm

And tell your friends!
(The Fringe Show relies on buzz to get any kind of attendance! I've heard it takes people hearing about a show from at least 3 different sources before they will consider going. Word of mouth goes a long way!)

Thanks! And I'll be writing more soon.

The Culture Pages-- a new performance?

What if culture followed the same patterns as nature?
What if "Roots" were more than a metaphor-- and actually describe the process by which culture holds fast to certain things, uproots itself from others, experiments and adopts change?

A few weeks ago, I went to the same cabin where "The Survival Pages" was first born...
Early February, midpoint between winter solstice and spring equinox, is a natural time to begin incubating new ideas... germinating seeds that I'll transplant later into my garden of current projects. And so, I found the first stirrings of a sequel performance: "The Culture Pages."

In my original proposal for the Naked Stages Program, my piece was to be titled "Bridges" (this was nearly a year before the 35W bridge collapse). What I intended to explore was twofold: connections between humans and nature, and connections between cultures & generations. I soon realized that the original idea was too broad-- so I narrowed it down to focus on my own, personal connection to nature. This is what became "The Survival Pages."

With "The Culture Pages" (if that's the name I'll actually use), I'd like to take up the second half of what "Bridges" had meant to explore: A look at culture, in a broad sense-- what we once knew about how to survive, and how that information has shifted so dramatically in recent generations. If the culture I now belong to is a tree, just what is it that I'm rooted to? Am I some pampered breed of hydroponic tomato, grown without real dirt, too delicate to survive a harsh Minnesota winter? How many of my great-grandparents' skills -- making a living from the land-- have been lost, and why?

So, more on this soon...
I have to go get ready for the next circus show at Heart of the Beast... (see "Dirt & Water", below, for more info on that)

I'm definitely looking for a new venue/grant money to develop and produce "The Culture Pages"-- so if you have any leads for me, do send me a comment!

PS. I'm in the Minnesota Fringe Festival! So "The Survival Pages" will be coming again this summer, dates and venue To Be Announced! (Late July/Early August).

Dirt & Water...

If there's any readers still out there, I thought I would share my favorite photo from the Survival Pages. And just to keep you informed, I am throwing my hat into the ring for the Fringe Festival this August-- to perform The Survival Pages again. Wish me luck!

(Photo by Usry Alleyne)

In the meantime, I'll be appearing again soon -- with a persona not too different from my "Dirt-Nature-Host" side, but this time advocating the wonders of water as a circus clown in a new show, "Beneath the Surface" at In the Heart of the Beast Puppet and Mask Theater. (check out www.hobt.org for info...) Opens Feb 22 & runs through March 16. (Pay as able shows on Thurs. evenings)

This show is also known as "The Water Show/ Episode II" to those working at the puppet theater -- since this is the second in a series of work about water.
photo by Bruce Silcox
If you know any school groups (or other friends) who might be interested in a Puppety-Circus Show about the Minneapolis Water Works vs Bottled Water, or the importance of the Mississippi Watershed, or learning about what we can do do reduce pollution in our waterways, please help us spread the word!
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In other news...

I'm currently reading The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan... It was recommended to me on at least 15 different occasions, and though I'm only halfway through the book I'd have to say that I also wholeheartly advocate all eaters to check it out. Not only does it tease apart the mysteries of the Industrial Food Complex & why the heck Iowa grows so much corn, the chapter I just finished also goes after the "Industrial Organic" model-- mentioning many of the same brands I eat from my local food co-op, and pointing out the VERY lax standards behind the "organic" label and something he terms as "Supermarket Pastoral"-- as a genre of literature. Selling us a story about our food that is a pretty far stretch from the truth. (those sealed plastic bags full of ready-to-go baby greens? Muir Glen canned tomatoes?) I've yet to finish the book, but already I can tell that I'm going to think differently about the amount of processed food I pick up at the co-op. And -- for real this time-- I'm going sign up for a CSA box this summer!

Ugh.

I have to say, I'm disappointed. I feel somewhat betrayed by the food co-ops, for succumbing to the industrial, non-sustainable forces behind this takeover of the term "organic". I feel disappointed in myself, for being so gullible. For believing the story on the package... me, who usually shuns advertisements and their mind-numbing effects. Knowing that I prioritized bargain-shopping specials at the "Big Co-op" (Wedge and Seward) and didn't make a point of supporting North Country Co-op... the first co-op in Minneapolis, and probably one of the last to make a valiant effort to counter the industrial model. (North Country closed in November '07)

It's not that all products in the co-op are "Industrial Organic"-- but reading these chapters in The Omnivore's Dilemma has opened my eyes to the fact that I can't blindly trust the co-op to choose the most sustainable options, and I can't continue to justify that buying anything at the co-op automatically makes it "good/better". I suddenly feel somewhat disgusted at my own self-congratulations (and slight sense of superiority) for not shopping at Cub or Rainbow.

The Co-op Movement has been co-opted, and the Organic Ideal has been capitalized upon.

I resolve to get more of my food locally-- now, not only for the sake of shaving off my contributions to Global Warming when I buy those bananas from Ecuador-- but for the issue of trust. I want to SEE how what I put in my body is raised. I don't want to eat eggs from chickens that are purported to be "free range" but in reality live only marginally better than their caged cousins. I want to go to the farm myself and know the farmer. I want to support the people who actually believe in pioneering ways we can raise our food sustainably.

Sustainably. Michael Pollan writes:

"So is an industrial organic food chain finally a contradiction in terms? It's hard to escape the conclusion that it is. Of course it's possible to live with contradictions, at least for a time, and sometimes it is necessary or worthwhile. But we ought at least face up to the cost of our compromises. The inspiration for organic was to find a way to feed ourselves more in keeping with the logic of nature, to build a food system that looked more like an ecosystem that would draw its fertility and energy from the sun. To feed ourselves otherwise was "unsustainable," a word that's been so abused we're apt to forget what it very specifically means: Sooner or later it must collapse."

Some thoughts stick with me, since finishing "The Survival Pages"--
Yoko Ono stating that "In the course of survival, we don't have the luxury to be negative. Being negative, that is a luxury that we can't afford."
and,
Sweet Honey in the Rock's song, "Battered Earth" -- "If the earth could crawl away... she'd be fighting for her life, fighting for her blessed life."

I think "The Survival Pages", in the end, was less about "inspire others to protect the environment" as it was an exploration into my own contradictions. And the conflict within myself-- what I read in the news and my own actions or lack of action. The desire to transform. But I wonder at myself. Why am I not fighting, as though I were fighting for my life, for the earth's life? I think back on all the people's movements I've read about in "A People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn: in it, he said something to the effect of : Never, throughout history, have the privileged willingly relinquished their power-- in each case, it's been fought for, and any victories have been hard-won.

When I think about it in one way, I am the oppressor. And nature -- all its creatures, all its systems -- is the downtrodden one. You know that famous Lorax, "We speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues." If nature were able to hire a lawyer, we'd be hard-pressed to dispute the evidence. My fingerprints are all over this case.

But when I think of it another way, I look at the immense grinding wheel that seems so unstoppable. I realize that there is ultimately little difference in grinding over the trees and what they represent-- and grinding over me. It may take a few generations, but I-- the universal human&non-human "I" -- have been chewed up and spit into bits over the carpet of those driving this thing. (Who is me, and you, and all us who really ought to mobilize our tongues, our bodies, and all of our will toward throwing a wrench in this thing before it mows over us all).

I am the privileged, reluctant to relinquish my power.
I LIKE hot baths, dammit. I also love papaya with lime, and travel.

I'm looking over the edge of my armchair. Survival Is Uncomfortable.
No tropical fruit.
Scratching my subsistence from the sun and dirt like every other being here.
Hunger.
Cold.

What big-brained monkey in their right mind would take that leap?

(One with enough imagination, and enough heart, to know that we are already falling, and to jump toward it is only to lighten our landing.)

The Survival Pages, Continued...

Thank You!
To all who came to see & support this new work's emergence!

I'm looking forward to hearing any comments, thoughts, impressions, suggestions, or other feedback you have for me about what you saw!

You can post here by clicking "Post a Comment" or, if you prefer to tell just me directly, you can email me at writetomemaliab@yahoo.com

So,
is it over?
Should you keep coming to this site?
Is there more to come?

No,
and yes,
and yes...

I feel like this journey is only just beginning, in many ways. This whole Naked Stages experience feels like a big liftoff in a new direction in my artistic career... and this blog has been a wonderful place for me to share my process and thoughts with others.

I plan to keep creating, and exploring still further my human relationship with nature, the seasons, and my environment. So yes, keep coming back-- for more poetry, thoughts, work-in-progress, videos, photos, drawings, and more!

And do, do please let me know you're listening! The notes and messages I've received from readers so far have encouraged and inspired me to keep sharing...

Welcome to the journey...

This November 8 - 10, 8pm at Intermedia Arts! call (612) 871-4444 for tickets or more information--

and,

Welcome to the accumulation of 9 months of research, meditation, play, obsession, compulsion, dreaming up, whittling down, focusing in, and putting out this 45 minutes of performance I call The Survival Pages...

Wow. What a journey it's been.

Research: Ishmael, and My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. Numerous survival manuals. Collapse by Jared Diamond. The Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Books and books! (I'll have to update this bibliography later)... Conversations, Interviews, and most importantly, regular dates with the seasons and wilder places, to listen for the messages and dig deeper into my relationship with nature.

Meditation: Pages upon pages of journaling, sketches, scripts and descriptions.

Play: This journey wouldn't have been the same without my excellent travel companions-- Theresa, Monica, Tara, Crystalline, Katie, and Eleanor -- the artists, and the program director who were also part of the Naked Stages '07 crew. (that's the program through which this production was created). A fabulous group of women I'm going to miss once this performance is done...
"Play" includes workshops taken as part of Naked Stages, classes in playwriting, found object puppetry, contact improvisation, butoh, road-trips and hours of footage doing all kinds of strange things in remote locations, and right outside my front door. Hours working with mentors Otto Ramstad and Masanari Kawahara, trying out material and getting direction/suggestions. Writing music and recording it-- playing with layers of sound and text, and weaving portions of the piece around piano improvisation. Hours alone in a black theater-box, (which was at times more like torture than play!) brainstorming and working out ideas of how the heck to convey what's been pressing so heavy on my heart. Trying out this way and that to find the one that felt "right"...

Obsession/Compulsion: I can't stop thinking about how messed up and dire our situation is-- with wars (still!) raging, such widespread and overt exploitation of people and places, ever-dwindling resources, marriage of the media to presidential and corporate propaganda, ice-caps melting, oil and water supplies running out, ... I could go on and on. Creating this piece became, in a way, a healthy obsession. It gave me a place to put my emotions and reactions to this news and information... something I could tangibly DO and not feel so stuck.

Dreaming up: This performance also contains pieces of my dream, or my hope, or my survival strategy ("strategy" or "hope" depending on the my state of optimism or dread) As the development for this show wore on, I found myself growing more and more convinced that my soul and spirit would be much happier in a place with more wildness in it. My resolve has deepened, to build a lifestyle that will allow me to bust a move to the country. I don't talk much about this in the show, but it's a layer running through it.

Whittling Down: I swear I have enough material to do 4 or 5 more shows, without overlap! One thing that's helped me let go of favorite elements which weren't fitting is realizing that there's no reason there can't be 4 or 5 more shows... Why not be like "Rocky" or "Friday the 13th"-- Survival Pages VIII, 2015? Still, it's been very difficult to pick and choose and shape the story, and harder yet to squeeze it into the alloted 45 minutes. Maybe I can put some of the out-takes on the DVD version ;-)

Focusing in: These last 2 weeks of rehearsal, especially, has me immersed up to my eyebrows in this world I've created-- and am now living inside. There have been wisely-spaced crunches throughout this process, which have worked out well for me, the procrastinator. I have to say that Masa, my mentor and co-director, has been a tremendous help in this process. Asking questions, pushing me to define meanings and clarify my message. Helping me see that what I think he'll see is not what comes across, or showing me things that I didn't know were there.

Putting out: You'll have to come to my show, and let me know the outcome -- for you -- from joining me on this part of the Survival Pages journey... I'll be waiting to hear from you.